Sometimes it's difficult to keep on track. I have so many interests and that is detrimental to real progress in any area. I love art, always have, and I made a commitment to keep up with my desire to make more art in 2003, and yes, I have to say I made a new "habit" that stuck. It's more of an inner need than forcing myself into some regimen that ultimately fails because it's forced. My art has certainly progressed and becoming more and more "me," through following my intuition as I paint.
What I have found the hardest so far is to let the art unfold at its own pace. I'm good at discipline and forcing myself to perform in whatever medium that has my attention at the moment. For me it's between writing and visual arts, mostly painting. Then there is a third interest, essential oils, in which I've been working to make a new career. I'm really tired of working for other people, so I've been feeling it's "do or die," with this business, to be self-sufficient. But, it doesn't quite work that way either. All the old forms of "making things happen," just don't work anymore.
Maybe we have entered a new paradigm. All I know is that all the passion I felt for any one of these expressions has been seriously subdued, and I haven't been able to get myself out of the slump. So, which one should I focus on? I feel at a loss making a decision what is best for me. I have been a writer for many years and it's not that difficult to sit down and write a chapter on my current book. No block there, but is that where my deepest passion lies?? Thing is, I don't FEEL much passion in any of these areas. I love it when a painting reveals itself, but can I live without making art? Yes, I can; at least I think I can. I can live without writing and selling essential oils.
Maybe there is something new to be passionate about? I don't know. Haven't come across it yet. The new paradigm might be to inspire and help others, but I don't feel I have gotten where I need to be in my own life. I guess I haven't gone all the way with any of them, exploring to the fullest. Closest to that is my writing due to many years of experience and experimentation, but my passion was ruined by the publishers' need for conformity, and it killed my creativity at the time. I don't blame anyone. I went along with their guidelines to keep making money, but then I burned out. It took me a long time to get some kind of joy out of my writing again. I enjoy my current writing project, and the ideas are coming. However...
Is it possible to feed three interests, or do I need to stick with one to succeed, and which one would it be? I've been struggling with that decision for a while. Meanwhile, all three are moving forward, but I'm thinking I'm diluting my energy. Any opinions, folks? I need help here... Thanks.